advice for awkward people

Dear Matt & Ryan,

What’s this I hear about you two graduating? I thought once The Tartan had found two replacements to Patrick Hoskins, I’d be able to pick up a paper once a week for the rest of my life and get bad advice from familiar faces. Don’t go! Stay forever!

How will I say:
Going On Okay, Don’t Bid Yourselves Exit?

Dear GOODBYE,

The only advice we can give you quotes Boyz II Men:

“I don’t know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we’ve been
And what we’ve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it’s worth all the wait
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I’ll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.”

Ryan II Matt

Hey Ryan & Matt,

Carnival ... oh my. It was a blast. I went to a near constant stream of house parties, I lost my voice cheering for my buggy team, my jacket got puked on, I saw alumni I haven’t seen since last year, and I ate a disgusting amount of funnel cake without any shame. The issue is, we still have some time before the end of the semester, and I have no idea how I’m still going to care about classes and schoolwork. How do you recommend I keep motivated?

Sincerely,
Reasonably Intoxicated Person Laboring Intensely, Vanquishing Each Requirement

Dear RIP LIVER,

For starters, Matt and Ryan are out, probably in the same position as you. I’m Josh. So, get up to speed on that. As for what you asked, if graduating and self-respect aren’t motivation enough, you can always try making a game out of schoolwork. Give yourself points for turning in homework assignments or getting up before noon, then compare your scores with your friends.

Because competition is at the heart of every Carnegie Mellon friendship,
Josh