Advice for awkward people

Dear Ryan and Matt,

My boyfriend is very outgoing, and he seems to know everybody. We can’t go anywhere without running into someone that was on his floor his first year or who dated his best friend. When we get meals together, I expect them to be quiet, but they turn into social experiences that I don’t want to be a part of. How do I tell his friends that he’s with me right now, and can come play later?

Sincerely,
Mingling Yeoman, Toddles Intimate Meaning-making Excursions

Dear MY-TIME,
It’s nice to be with someone who knows everybody, but we understand your predicament. You might try talking to your boyfriend and letting him know that when you two are together, you expect it to be the two of you — together. You can also take the initiative to turn down requests to join his friends yourself, saying things like “We’d be happy to join you another time.”
If that doesn’t work, you might have to resort to scare tactics. Make mention of discussing things couples need privacy for — like a breakup or an unexpected pregnancy.

Have you tried staying in?
Matt and Ryan

Dear Matt and Ryan,

Ugghhhhh it’s after spring break and I have no motivation to do any work. I just want to go back to the carefree days that last week provided. Why can’t I go back? Why do I have to work again? I’m feeling so listless and apathetic right now I don’t even think I can fin—

Dear … um … Sir or Madam,
The first week back from spring break is always the worst. It’s not like the first week of school, when professors expect nothing and homeworks amount to nothing more than “read the syllabus.” But when you get back from break, it’s more like, “Hope you’ve been hitting the books this past week, because here’s three assignments and an exam — good luck.” So, you have two options now, assuming you haven’t done any work at all this week. Hit the ground running next week, picking up the slack and getting on top of everything you should have done last week. Or, continue to be as apathetic as you want. But seriously — get your butt in gear. No one’s saying you have to be productive all the time right now, and taking a break now and again is healthy.

If life were like spring break forever, it wouldn’t feel like spring break. And we’d all probably be dead,
Ryan and Matt