Advice for awkward people

Hey Ryan and Matt,
I was bolting to the printer in Baker yesterday so I could turn in my paper for my next class when I saw this student hanging out in front of the printer just losing it. There was about a book and a half’s worth of printed pages in the tray, and tears were just streaming down her face. I felt sorry for her but I didn’t want to intrude; I just wanted to get my paper and get to class. Am I a bad person for not showing some kind of caring or concern?

Printing Reaction Is Not Totally Qool, Unusually Odious Tryst Arises

We recommend against worrying about the printers too much; they take all kinds of abuse throughout the semester. Matt has been known to shout obscenities and kick the printers. Besides, Carnegie Mellon gives students $40 worth of print quota; the printers should be designed to handle that kind of abuse. As for the person crying in front of the printer, she’s probably printing off all of Blackboard ahead of Thanksgiving break so she can get a jump on studying for finals. We all do it at one point in the semester, mostly to use up that $40 of printing allotment. We’re sure she broke down because it finally occurred to her how much she needs to study for finals.

Or maybe she just feels guilty for printing one-sided pages,
Matt & Ryan

Matt and Ryan,
I’m heading home this Tuesday for Thanksgiving and I was wondering if you have any travel advice for me. I want to make sure I make it home in time for food and, more importantly, sleep. I’ve never traveled on my own before, so any words of wisdom are appreciated!

Scared Of Vehicular Escape, Really Young Traveler Is Readily Eagerly Departing

Well, since you didn’t mention how you’re getting home, we’ll have to cover all methods of transport.

A general rule of thumb is to leave earlier than you think you need to. Whether you’re driving, flying, or taking a bus or train, you should get out the door sooner than you think you need to. Especially the week of Thanksgiving. Again, especially the week of Thanksgiving. You know who is going to be on the road? Everyone else in the United States. Your peers, your teachers, your RAs, and everyone else will be conducting a mass exodus from campus starting around noon on Tuesday. You will be but a speck in an ocean of people who want to get home just as much as you do. The line at the bus stop at Forbes and Morewood Avenues is ridiculous. Spend the night there if you have to.

Good luck. You’ll need it,
Ryan & Matt