Haikuscopes

Aries
March 21 - April 19

wilting flower blooms
dead octopus regrows limb
you aren't so lucky

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20

hottest girl around
flirting with you at the store
unavailable

Gemini
May 21 - June 21

puppy sits outside
sunlight on his furry back
but the dorms ban pets

Cancer
June 22 - July 22

your great achievement
rendered worthless by a duck
the sound of quack quack

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22

let the knife guide you
cutting into the soft flesh
amateur healing

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

your finest hour
upside down, head in a pot
you perform magic

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

ignore the future
your past is all that matters
diapers and rattles

Scorpio
Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

allow the entry
someone has to be last place
the fire dies quickly

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

nearly all your friends
steal you away at midnight
the ransom is huge

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

let the pumpkins fly
600-foot trebuchet
built by all our dads

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

don't go home tonight
all night sessions of Starcraft
are good for your health

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20

make haiku with teeth
this one is very angry
it bites us all. ouch