Everything you need to know

Dear Joe,

Facebook made such a mistake when they let people not in college join. My aunt requested to friend me, and without thinking, I accepted it. She’s a wonderful aunt to have, but she keeps sending messages about my dirty language and how I’m her honey bear. Should I de-friend her? That might make the next Thanksgiving dinner a little uncomfortable.

—Poked in Porter

Dear Poked,

Or shall I say honey bear? The first mistake you made was accepting someone as a friend who might cause issues with your account. But honestly, is it that bad?

Frankly, I get messages all the time from my family. I have uncles with requests to join groups about native pizza joints, aunts asking if everything’s alright, and a brother and a sister who are on the same boat that I am. I feel that it adds a little bit of familiarity to my life, even if they aren’t so happy about any sketchy pictures that may be posted.

Not everyone is on excellent terms with their relatives. If it’s really making you uncomfortable, you can either de-friend your aunt or change your profile and keep deleting her messages. The latter option, believe it or not, is a much worse gesture than the first. It’s even worse than refusing to eat her pickled beets at the next Memorial Day picnic. In the end, you have to accept that you’re an adult here. If you don’t want to deal with a contact, regardless of who it is, you can always cut the tie. Just remember, though, that this is the same person who drove you to soccer practice and kissed your cuts to make everything better. Given that, I think a few Facebook comments are a relatively minor occasion.

Say uncle,


Dear Joe,

I’m trying to figure out what kind of person I am. It’s interesting, because I dress trendy, but I don’t smoke cigarettes, and I like emo music. Somebody even said that I was a goth once. Who knows? I might even be a jock, because I like playing basketball. Any suggestions on finding myself?

—Searching in South Side

Dear Searching,

You have got to be kidding me. The whole “What group am I in?” game ended when you received your high school diploma. You should have been jumping for joy that you could just be yourself in college. Maybe you belong in the “I didn’t get the memo” group.

Seriously, Searching, I wouldn’t spend any more time trying to put a label on yourself. There’s enough stuff in life to worry about. The economy, the quality of campus food, and your atrocious QPA are three fine examples. Whenever people start worrying about what clique they fit into, it’s often because they’re not taking enough time to learn about other people. With that said, Searching, strike up a conversation with the strange kid sitting next to you in class. Chat it up with the janitor who cleans your dorm’s bathrooms. To avoid becoming self absorbed, the best solution is to squeeze yourself out to others. Give it a try. That is, unless you think I’m a jerk, because you totally shouldn’t listen to jerks.

Just don’t be emo,


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