Everything you need to know

Dear Rachael,

My roommate recently let a guy move in with us without even asking me, and even though it made me uncomfortable, I put up with it at first, thinking he’d only stay for a week. After I found out that he had no plans of moving out of here any time soon and is taking his time searching for an apartment, I confronted her about it and she basically dismissed everything I said. How can I get through to my roommate and get this guy to leave?

—Crass Coed

Hello you crass thing,

Well, you are crass with good reason. You need to take action. Your roommate’s actions, and her boyfriend’s, are at such a level of disrespect that it’s almost unimaginable. Except at college. And probably in the real world, too. Okay, so it’s not so unimaginable.

You need to try confronting your roommate again. Sit her down, one-on-one, and let her know what’s up. Tell her that you’re being disrespected and you don’t like it. If you did the same thing, moving some boy toy in, I’m very sure she wouldn’t like it. Very sure. And tell her that you live there, too, you/your parents are paying to live there, and so is she — but her boyfriend isn’t. And he needs to get the boot. If she doesn’t listen to you again (which she should, because you are going to make her listen), take this affair to Housing Services. Yes, tattling is generally looked down upon, but things happen. And I approve of it in this situation. One time, my friend told me that you have to take action to get action. She, of course, was talking about a different kind of action, but that applies here. You have to take action for this problem to be resolved.

Get that action!


Dear Rachael,

How can I cut bad influences out of my life? I am talking about people, in particular.

—Seeking Better Influences

Hi there, Seeking,

You should invest in a pair of heavy-duty scissors. And no, I am not suggesting that you literally cut someone, because that would be wrong. Very, very wrong. What I am suggesting is that you walk away from people who are affecting you in a negative way. The best way, I think, would be to confront these bad influences, tell them why you are wielding those scissors in their direction — particularly that you are trying to become a better person or something — and figuratively cut away. That way, they won’t be coming around asking why you stopped talking to them all of a sudden, and they won’t be giving you the evil eye. Because, if they give you the evil eye, my most sane advice would be to show them the back of your hand.

I’m kidding! Kind of.

Hip, hip, hooray!