Everything you need to know

Dear Myrtle,

It seems that I’m only attracted to men who aren’t attracted to me. Even worse, when I find someone attractive and then he shows interest in me, I immediately get freaked out and stop liking him. How can I overcome this seeming social disorder?

—Lonely Unlovable Sad Homosexual

Dear LSH,

Look here LSH (I refuse to call you LUSH because you are NOT unlovable!), haven’t you watched movies? This isn’t a social disorder, it’s just a perfectly normal case of wanting the unattainable. Do you think Prince Charming was as enamored of Sleeping Beauty once she woke up? Definitely not. So there’s no need to condemn yourself, but you still have some work to do. The next time you find someone attractive who seems to like you, bite your lip and fight the urge to run. Give the man a chance. Even if everything feels less exciting at first once the chase is over, give it a few dates, see how things go. You might find that having a good time with an attainable man isn’t so bad after all. If you still don’t like him after a few dates, apologize and leave — don’t break anyone else’s heart. But above all, the best way to get better at dating is to date. Even if you spend some time with Prince Okay before finding Charming.


Hey Myrtle,

I’m really stressed and overcommitted but I hate telling my friends that I can’t go out partying with them. How can I say “no” without it sounding like “go away”?

—Poopin’ On Parties

Hey there POP,

First of all, tell your friends the truth. Explain that you’re stressed and overcommitted instead of making up a lame excuse about feeling under the weather or having to wash your cat. Then, the next time you have some spare time between exams and prior commitments, make the move to invite them to go out — that way they’ll know that your reluctance to party doesn’t mean you don’t like them. It’s also okay to invite your friends to hang out for shorter periods of time — grab a coffee, solve the crossword — to show them you love them without bogging down your schedule. Don’t worry — if your friends are friends worth having, they’ll understand! Good luck!

— Myrtle