Tartan Q&A

We’ve all had those awkward romantic encounters. In the spirit of full disclosure, the Tartan staff would like to entertain you with some factoids concerning our romantic moments, ideas, and fantasies — some of which are just a little strange. Enjoy!

What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?

One time I dragged a guitar to school and serenaded a girl with her favorite song. That sounds romantic unless you’ve ever actually heard me sing. –LR

An elaborate Valentine’s Day present involving a scavenger hunt, confetti, and me getting dizzy from blowing up too many balloons. –SM

I stayed in a nice, romantic hotel in a wonderful (and expensive) little town in Canada, then walked around at night under the stars. With my boyfriend, I should add. –JT

What’s the craziest/most hilarious thing you ever believed about sex as a kid?

We had to explain to my cousin once that a dick does not necessarily stick straight out perpendicular to the body when fully aroused. We demonstrated the proper angle with a remote control. –MB

I got nothing for this one. I found my mom’s copy of “The Joy of Sex” when I was like, seven. I knew way too much, way too soon. On the plus side, I was the coolest kid on the school bus that week. –LR

When I was four, I thought that my boy cousin had a baby carrot between his legs. I spent an hour asking people what it was and no one would answer me. Finally, I threw a temper tantrum because no one would respond and got sent to time out. –PN

If you could spend a night with any superhero, who would it be? (And why?)

Spiderman — spandex is really hot. –LS

Definitely Spiderman, but only if he was “played by” Tobey Maguire. That upside-down kiss in the rain was fiiiine. I think he’s only into redheads though, so sucks for me. –LT

Batman. Grappling hook? Hello? Wait: threesome with Batman and Robin is out of the question, right? –SK

Lex Luthor, even though he’s a supervillain. I dig men with issues. –SM

Poison Ivy, or maybe just Poison Ivy from Batman Forever. A.k.a. Uma Thurman. Oh wait, Poison Ivy is a villain. Then I pick the superhero in My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

What is a way to seduce/attract a potential significant other that not many people know about?

Be a klutz. Maybe they’ll pick up whatever you drop or offer to dry-clean the shirt you just spilled your drink all over. At first, it’s cute. –JT

Accio love, baby. Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three. Duh. –SB-H

Pretend you have E.S.P.; pretend you can determine what number they are thinking between one and 10. If you get it right, be like, “See, told ya so.” If you get it wrong, be like, “Oh, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you.” It’s cute. Be embarrassed. –MB

What’s your favorite body part of the people you date?


Eyes and lips visually. I think the tactile favorites remain constant throughout the male gender, so I’ll leave them out. –DT

The brain. TOTALLY hot. –SB-H

What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you on a date?

I once dated this guy who got like a 1600 on his SATs and he would correct my grammar. I was really embarrassed, but then I was like, “I’m getting the hell out of here.”

In ninth grade, I accidentally hit a boy in the face while trying to make out with him. –CM

I realized it wasn’t a date. –SM

I didn’t know I was dating someone for about a month — that’s kind of embarrassing. –KL

I had a date with a guy who was obsessed with coffee, which I didn’t like too much, but I drank a whole big pot anyway — and threw up all the way home. –SB-H

Do you believe in love at first sight? True love? Destiny?

It has a lot to do with my mood — or what song I’m listening to (unless it’s The Postal Service’s “Nothing Better,” in which case I sympathize with both sides). Overall, the way I feel is usually the opposite of my love life: When I’m dating someone, it probably isn’t destiny; when I’m admiring from afar, it is. -SM

Of course I believe in love at first sight. How do you explain my long, fruitful relationship with my iPod? –LR

How did your love life change when you came to CMU?

I realized how many people there were in the world, and if I didn’t find someone right away, it wasn’t a catastrophe. –LS

Before I came to CMU, my love life was the pits. But now, the women are flowing like wine, and my love life is thriving like the U.S. economy. –MS

Changed? More like screeched to a halt. Anyway, it’s been weird, disappointing, and a little too much like an angst-filled song by Fall Out Boy. –SM

I fell for Tank the robot receptionist, but it broke my heart. –SB-H

...Who has time? –LK

Do opposites attract? Is there a limit on that?

Opposites do attract, but there is a limit. If after one week you run out of things to talk about, the two of you aren’t soul mates. –LS

They do, as long as they have something significant in common. You can of course date someone of a different major or profession, but then you both generally should be interested in your respective fields for similar reasons or passions. At least, that’s how it has worked for me. –JT

I think a certain level of antagonism is needed. What fun would it be if you always agreed on everything? But life is not a sitcom: your hot, sloppy, hippie Democrat neighbor is not interested in your uptight, neat-freak Republican self. –LR

Yes, in the male/female way or music/lyrics kind of way, but not in the fundamentalist/atheist or pacifist/assassin kind of way. –SB-H

Say something interesting about sex/love.

Please tell me if we’re going on a date, because chances are I don’t know it’s a date. –KL

Flowers should be given anytime, anywhere. –JT

Don’t have preconceived notions about anything. They’ll be proven wrong. –LS