Zivan Vasquez

Class of


  • Local Terrorist 'Too Boring' For NSA

    “We just feel he’s going through the motions,” said NSA operative Hugh Martin, describing middle school geography sub and local domestic terrorist, Paul Gulman.

    Pillbox | January 30, 2023

    Date/Time: May 1 @ 4:04 p.m.

    Location of Incident: Forbes Ave. @ Craig St.

    Type of Incident: Conspiracy, remorseless loitering, abdication of social conscience

    Pillbox | May 2, 2022
  • Music snots should all catch a cold

    I want to make it clear that I am not targeting the Carnegie Mellon Music Department. Or School? CMU Music Shack and Play-back Emporio? Either way, I will be sharing qualms that I have with the modern classical genre as a whole. So thereare any criticisms I share that seem to line up with how certain people do things at Carnegie Mellon, that’s just a coincidence.

    Forum | May 2, 2022
  • Crunchyroll partners with GoArmy for season 2 of 'My Freedom Education'

    “Propoganda is for communists. This is just art, hippie,” Vice Corporal Martin Shoehorn said, twiddling his cat ears. I am speaking with the Head Recruiter of the Pittsburgh Chapter of the U.S. Army about his involvement in the newest season of America’s favorite shonen anime, “My Freedom Education.” Though everyone has likely binged it thrice by now, I’ll go over what it’s about. In the world of ...

    Pillbox | May 2, 2022
  • Grand Wizards Join Newest Season of 'Undercover Boss'

    “Pass the scallops, boy,” shouts a conspicuously pointy-headed new hire at Josh’s Lobster Hut.

    Pillbox | April 25, 2022