Advice for awkward people

Dear Evan,

Senior year, post-Carnival: I’m suffering from a more-than-mild existential crisis. I’ve grown to hate school; heck, part of the culture at Carnegie Mellon is that you’re so, so ready to work less hard than you did here, and out of that, people grow to resent this place. Despite that, bubbling to my emotional surface is a feeling that I’m going to miss this sorry school — with its nerd culture, odd traditions, and misguided priorities — for the rest of my days.

How should I go about spending my last few weeks at Carnegie Mellon to make my collegiate experience complete?

With mixed feelings,
Reaching End of Academic Life, Tense And Looking for Komfort

Dear REAL TALK,

Well, if you’ve never been to Tazza d’Oro at the bottom of Gates, then you could eat there. And I guess you should go to Razzy Fresh at least once, too… oh, wait; you probably want to do more than just eat food. That’s a little tougher to answer.

You’re probably doing this already, but avoid homework like the plague until at most 24 hours before it’s due. If you already have a job or internship lined up, and you don’t plan on going to grad school, then you don’t really need to be doing anything except enjoying your time here.

Your best bet at making the most of your time before commencement is to hang out with as many estranged friends as possible — people you met in your first and sophomore years and connected with but then never made the mutual effort to foster a true friendship. Try to make as many positive personal connections as possible, and if one of those people ends up complaining about not having seen you in so long, then you can let them go without a colored conscience.

I know my usual advice is to stay in, eat, and play video games, but I’m going to break my own rules here: Get out of the house. See Phipps; go to the Altar Bar, Heinz Hall, the Incline, Fallingwater. Be a tourist.

Also, I in no way condone climbing onto the roof of Hamerschlag Hall, or any other academic building — but I’ve heard it’s kinda fun.

Pittsburgh will miss you, too,
Evan Kahn

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