Advice for Awkward People

Hey, Josh!

I’ve got some food woes to share. All of my friends — literally, all of them — are vegetarians, or vegans, or sanitarians, or whatever, and I feel a bit persecuted as a full-blown carnivore whenever we eat together. Just yesterday, five of my friends and I were ordering at a fancy, sit-down restaurant downtown, and I ordered first. I ordered a steak, done blue well, which is when it’s seared on the outside and totally red on the inside, and it’s literally the most delicious thing ever on earth. Everyone, including the waiter, gave me some hardcore side-eye, and one of my friends fake-vomited in her mouth. After everyone else had ordered all their bean curds, and salads, and quinoas, they all stared at me again. One of my friends was like “Did you know that red meat causes cancer?” and another was all “It says right here on the menu that undercooked meat will... blah blah blah.”

It’s not like I think all people with dietary philosophies/conditions/preferences are the issue, but I’m feeling tremendous pressure to change my eating habits just so that this will stop. Help?

Thanks,

Signed,
Carnivore Adoring Barn-Braised Animals and Gratuitous Eating.

Hello CABBAGE,

I think that first and foremost, this issue is about the company you keep. If this is a recurring event, you shouldn’t just sit there and take it. You should tell them plainly that you do not appreciate their judgement regarding your food choices, and that if you want their advice, you’ll ask. In the same vein, you should be careful of judging their food, because that’s just as rude. While there are some great benefits to certain alternative diets, it’s all about what you want out of your eating experience. If you are someone who really loves meat, and it brings you joy, then more power to you. If you’re someone who treats food as fuel, then maybe it’s not the best thing to eat all the time. Either way, it’s your decision to make, and you should never feel cowed into changing for other people. So eat your bloody meats with a smile on your face, if that’s what you want. It’s your money and your body, so my advice is to just continue doing you.

Cheers,
Joshua Brown.