Did you know?

100 years ago
March 20, 1907

The Founder’s Day Student Parade program was released to the masses. Included was the schedule of events, which involved students forming lines and walking in various forms for three hours. After all that walking, students filed into a lecture hall to hear a speech from the big man himself: Andrew Carnegie. I’m sure his speech covered entrepreneurship, Pittsburgh’s future, and why the hell students would walk around for three hours doing more or less nothing.

50 years ago
April 2, 1957

A Philip Morris ad gave advice on how students should get to know their advisors. Stating that many students felt that advisors didn’t care about them, the ad supposed that it appeared that way merely because the advisors didn’t know them. So, how to befriend one’s advisor? Their recommendation was simple: buy a carton of cigarettes “to delight their soul.” The moral: The next time you feel your advisor just won’t hear you out, ply him or her with tasty death sticks and watch them work their magic for your relationship.

25 years ago
March 16, 1982

Attention television watchers of Carnegie Mellon! Starting on April 2nd, General Hospital will no longer air on WTAE-TV at 9:30, channel 4. Now you can get your daily dose of melodrama at 3:00 p.m. Wait, this isn’t very important to you? Well, back in 1982, it was extremely important. In fact, this information took up an entire page in the paper, where information about adopting a child or feeding the hungry could have changed the world. Issues like these, however, take the back burner to the more important things in life, like whether Monica will surrender herself to Dr. Quartermane, despite his unsightly eyepatch.

10 years ago
March 17, 1997

A first-year was taken to the hospital as a result of a bunk bed mishap. Jumping from the top of the bed, the unfortunate student’s foot made an unwelcome visit to a metal zipper from his backpack, and somehow made a gash. Paramedics raced in to the student’s dorm room to save the day, and sent the student to a hospital for treatment. Let this be a lesson for everyone who has any plans this weekend of, well, leaving a backpack next to a bunk bed.

5 years ago
March 25, 2002

In the “Chicken Soup for the Male Soul” column, Neal Martin offered advice to the young hopefuls for love on the Carnegie Mellon campus. Suggesting that young gents become proactive and target scenes where they could find similar matches, he asserted that the best meeting ground is right down the road at the Univeristy of Pittsburgh’s Hillman Library. With 7:00-11:00 p.m. being the prime time, he pointed out that finding an equally “nerdy” counterpart for oneself to feel comfortable with at Pitt is easier due to the fact that they are less of a “hot” commodity there (due to the laws of supply and demand). What better way to inspire love at a library than saying like a Casanova, “Is that a differential equations book you’re looking at, or are you just laying a hook for me?”

1 year ago
April 1, 2006

The Tartan’s annual Scandal Issue reported that Carnegie Mellon 1992 alumnus G.H. Davenport-Aldridge made a record donation to the College of Humanities and Social Sciences in the form of four new foam soap dispensers on the second floor of Baker Hall. The gift — the largest donation by an H&SS alum to the college since its creation in 1968 — was recognized in an unveiling ceremony where Davenport-Aldridge was the first to wash his hands in the foamy soap. The bathroom was also renamed “The G.H. Davenport-Aldridge Lavatory and Washroom for Male Patrons” in the donor’s honor. Yeah! Take that you peeps perambulating in Tepper’s Posner Hall! You might have a sweet building, but we’ve got pre-lathered soap!